Expensive Annie: A chilly, merciless sample

I’ve one daughter, who’s now 40, and he has a daughter with whom he’s estranged. She is 43. He has been married 3 times, the longest for seven years, with one marriage lasting for under a month.

I obtained a cellphone name about 10 months in the past from an outdated boyfriend with whom I’ve remained pleasant however with whom I ended a bodily relationship after I met “Mr. Seven Years.” When the cellphone name came visiting my Bluetooth automotive connection, I didn’t reply.

The following day, whereas I used to be out with my mom for a hair appointment, “Mr. Seven” packed up the issues from his go to and left and not using a phrase. By no means heard from him once more.

My house is on the West Coast, and he has a house in a neighboring state. Our plan had been to journey backwards and forwards between our properties about as soon as 1 / 4, as I had simply retired. He had forgotten some shirts and his favourite mattress pillow, which I packed up and despatched to him with a heartfelt letter, telling him that I beloved him and that I had by no means been untrue. No response.

Now, after virtually 10 months of no contact, I obtained a field whereas I used to be in Europe touring on a retirement celebration journey. I opened it now that I’m again residence, not realizing who it was from, and lo and behold, it was each private reward that I had given him over the previous couple of years, together with a watch and a shirt and a few work that I had completed at his request. There was no word or letter within the field.

A number of years in the past, he did one thing just like his daughter, the place he shipped each picture that he had taken of her in a field with no word. She hasn’t spoken to him since. He would ruminate on this perceived damage, that she by no means responded, however I felt that it was an aggressive and hurtful factor to do, as I consider that is.

I really feel like, on the one hand, I ought to reply with an e mail, telling him that his actions have been hurtful and imply spirited. Then again, why give him the satisfaction of realizing that he damage me? I want he had simply thrown all of it away fairly than spend the time and the vitality to ship it to me.

Now, I’m having hassle getting this out of my thoughts and am questioning simply what he hoped to perform by sending these items again. What are your ideas? Ought to I reply or ignore and transfer on? Ship the stuff again and inform him to throw it away? — Confused on the West Coast

Expensive Confused on the West Coast: As an alternative of being confused, I might really feel extra relieved to be out of a relationship with him. His actions are so chilly and unemotional. It’s one factor to be a complete louse to your girlfriend, however to do this to your daughter is terrible! Proper then and there have been the purple flags that this man has critical issues. Run 100 miles from this man.

I actually really feel for the daughter greater than you. You will get a brand new boyfriend or husband and finally really feel the love from a loving and extra thoughtful relationship. However his poor daughter solely will get one dad, and he’s a horrible one.

As for what to do with the “stuff,” do what makes you’re feeling as far completed with him as potential. The one contact I may need with him is to level out how chilly and merciless he was to his daughter and the way now he’s doing the identical factor to you, however don’t permit him to carry you again into his life. You might be very lucky — good riddance.